That was me, over 40, unfit and fat. And so far from the Red Dust Warrior of my inner me as could be possible. I ignored every signal my body sent me until the night I walked into the emergency department at Queanbeyan Hospital and said, “I think I only have indigestion, but I’d hate to wake up dead because I ignored something.” They never really did find out what caused it. My blood pressure was 165/90. Later they were keeping me in because my blood pressure went so low I set all the alarms off. Now, I have to say that I didn’t listen to that message straight away but it did bubble at the back of my brain. I put it down to stress and went back to my workaholic ways. I continued in my stress filled job for another year before I begged my boss to release me. I thought I’d get a transfer and get some work life balance. Unfortunately you can’t just walk into the supermarket and buy a box of work/life balance off the shelf.
Three years later I was still unhealthy and generally unwell and really unhappy in my job. I had had another couple of “mysterious” heart incidents and seemed to have an immune system that attracted every bug and virus within a 20 kilometre radius. I missed so much work and then my back collapsed on me completely while on long service leave. I spent 9 weeks almost constantly in bed barely able to move or walk and definitely unable to sit. I still didn’t listen. I kept eating bad food and, and as soon as I could manage a reasonable distance (100metres) I went back to work even though I hated my job with every fibre of my being.
Mid last year I started vomitting everything I ate. First meat, then dairy, then fish and finally eggs. I was getting terrified to eat. I was making smoothies out of silverbeet from my backyard and organic apples and almond or soy milk. I did this for 2 months and lost barely any weight. I had developed trigeminal neuralgia and was in constant pain and weighed in at 95 kilos. After this massive change in diet and dramatic decrease in caloric intake I had only lost 1.5 kilos. I had two lumps on my thyroid but my tests showed everything was okay. I was not okay! My doctor was concerned because she felt the weight should be falling off me if I was eating so clean. But I wasn’t really. I was still loading on some gluten free junk food, and gluten free pizza, some fairly highly processed foods and tonnes of coffee daily. Although by this time I had given up Coca Cola and alcohol so I still should have been losing weight.
I reached out to a friend who practices a vegan lifestyle. I wanted to make sure that if I was going to adopt this lifestyle that my body was forcing on me, I would do it properly. I had watched Joe Cross’ movie, Fat, Sick and nearly Dead, and absolutely knew that juicing was the way to go. The movie was really powerful. My friend also put me onto Liana Shanti, the RawganicVegan, see link below. I went on her 66 Day reset (8 week reset), which is started with a 10 Day juice fast and daily coffee enemas. Yes! Enemas. I know, I was shocked too. Although not half as shocked as when I did my first one.
I cannot tell you how different the reset made me feel. I have always been about stepping up and owning your life, owning your decisions but I had let myself become a giant couch potato. I justified the disgusting diet of potato chips and chocolate and 2 litres of Coca Cola a day. I was drowning in self loathing, far far far from my usual “happy dancing feet” persona. And although nobody in my personal life knew it, I was becoming seriously disaffected with life. Really struggling to find pleasure in the small things. I had always been able to pick myself up and dust myself off no matter what happened. Always able to just suck it up and get on with it. Now I just seemed to wallowing in a giant cess pool of angst.
I now welcome that vomitting. It changed my attitude and my life. I have taken all my business acumen and organisation skills and totally reframed my life. I am comfortably below 80 kilos, and it has been a gentle steady loss, which at times I put a hold on to explore the wonderful world of vegan, high raw foods (especially the desserts) and I am now undertaking a Candida Protocol. Along the way I have been “releasing” emotions and deeply exploring what I want from life. The answers have been truly suprising on some levels. I have quit my extremely well-paid unhappy job as a Business Analyst and commenced on a new life as a Health and Wellness Coach. And, I am finally studying something just because I want to, Applied Buddhist Studies. Although I intend incorporating many of my Taoist and Buddhist beliefs into my coaching. My marriage, which was always good is now great, and we are contemplating a tree change. I am reconnecting with my children on a whole new level and have so much energy for my grandkids. And for the first time in many years I am now able to meditate. I am so much more mindful of the world around me and my place within it. I am truly manifesting my inner Red Dust Warrior.
If you have ever though of undertaking a juice fast I highly recommend it. Who knows, like me it could be just what you need.
PS. I receive no income from promoting these links. I do it only to share what I believe in. Paying it forward …
PPS. If you would like to become a Red Dust Wanderer and join me on my journey I will be taking on new clients after May (2015).
The begining of this part of my journey …
This blog is just me commenting on the world. One day it might be something small, one day it might be something big. If it provides you with an insight into your daily wanderings then great, if it amuses you then terrific, if it bores you then scroll on past – but do come back another day!
It is important that I tell you why I chose the blogger name I chose. The Red Dust Way is in the Taoist tradition. What it means is living life in The Red Dust, ie the dust of life. It is not about retreating to a cave in a cool green mountain to achieve a perfect state. It appealed to me as a metaphor on the way to live life.
So often you see people living for some moment in the future, or saying if only XX would happen or if only HH were different. So often people are not present in their daily lives. They’re in the future, or, more frequently, drowning in the past. Me, I am always present; always here, always now. I think that’s what makes me happy.
What is also important is that it is MyWay. So often there are claims that if you do it this way or that way then your life will be perfect. Rubbish! We, each of us, must find our OwnWay and, this is the most important bit, respect the fact that other’s have to find TheirWay.
It is your OwnWay because you own it! So, step up. Own the life you live. Own every thought and every action. There is ALWAYS a choice. It may not be a pleasant choice but there is always a choice, whether you make it from a position of strength, compromise or weakness. When you own it, really own it, then you value it. When you value it, then life improves.
I will introduce you to many wonderful people who let me share their ways with them, the highs, the lows, and the beautiful calm comfortable in-betweens. Or I might share something I hear on the radio, or sitting in a cafe, or travelling on the bus, and tell you what I think. I encourage you to engage with me positively and provide your thoughts.
PS, I’m a girl from the West at heart, so the odd impassioned f-bomb does not offend me, however, my readership might be a bit hesitant so please use it sparingly. Remember we have options like I AM REALLY UPSET, or I disagree!!!! or Yippppeeeeee!!! :)))))) My personal favourite is **BIG SMILES**